So nervous...I could PEE!

I thought the title was perfect, considering this post is talking about how on Wednesday the 4th, we attempted our first try at having a baby. It went pretty smoothly, a little awkward, but that's to be expected when using a friend as a known donor. We are so grateful to him, that we really cannot express how much this means to us. He and his wife are being so wonderful about this process, about helping us out, and about us having a baby. Leigh and I are both praying and hoping pretty much all day, every day that this takes the first time because we really cannot wait to have this baby.

I can almost not make it through the day, wondering if I might be pregnant. I ordered my pregnancy tests online, because they offered a huge discount for buying a bunch of them, and because then I would be forced to wait until at least they got here before I could start obsessively peeing on the sticks lol. The only thing keeping me from testing now is that I know the result would probably be negative, since it is too early after my ovulation date. I don't want to be discouraged by a negative result, so I am anxiously counting down the days. At the end of each day, all I can think is "one more day down" until I can test.

For personal, and for hopeful reasons, we won't be telling pretty much anyone right away if we do become pregnant. And after this post, until we are ready to announce our pregnancy, we won't be talking about any future attempts, or trials at getting pregnant. Our reasoning is that while we will be bursting with joy about being pregnant, we also have a logical side that lets us know that some pregnancies do not last. We would rather keep it to ourselves, and wait until we are almost positive I will not miscarry, before telling anyone. Because if our parents find out that they will be grandparents, and then we miscarry or lose the pregnancy, I believe it would be devastating. So for that reason, and a few others, from now on it will be *hush hush* until we are ready to announce that we are expecting. I hope you all can understand why we came to this decision.

So for now, until the day comes, please send tons of good thoughts, prayers, hope, and lots and lots of BABY DUST our way! And thank you all for being with us on this incredible journey!

Hello 2012!

The beginning of a new year. Full of possibilities, full of opportunities, and hopefully, a fresh start. I love New Years Day because of all the chances it brings. Many people will say that you can "start over" or make resolutions on any day of the year, but this day is special. It's after the holidays, when people are stressed, people have little money, and people are worried about a lot of stuff. New Years represents a new start. A time to put the previous year's worry, stress, and bad-feelings behind you, and try to make the best of the year coming up. Which is EXACTLY what I plan to do.

For this year, I am going to try to look on the bright side of everything. Try to remain positive. Try to keep a good outlook. I really want this year to be better than the last few have been. Things have been tough lately, and times have been really hard. Money has been tight and we have had to cut back on a lot of things. And when things like that happen, it's easy to feel depressed and down on everything, but when you feel like that, it just makes the problem worse. Being depressed or angry doesn't help anything at all. But I really feel like things are going to turn around for us. I REALLY have a good feeling about this year, about the opportunities that are presenting themselves.

The main thing about this year is the possibility of a baby. Our first "try" at it is approaching very rapidly and while I am mainly so excited that I could pee, but part of me is so nervous and anxious! I am terrible with surprises and waiting for things, so this is going to be so nerve-wracking! I don't want to have to try, wait, test, wait, try, wait, test, wait....so I am hoping, praying, begging, and pleading that this happens the first time so that I don't have to constantly be anxious and worried.

The next biggest thing about this year would be my home business, I am SO hoping that it takes off and I get TONS of orders. I really want this to work, I want to be able to keep making things for people because I really enjoy it. I love trying new patterns, new yarns, new colors, and personalizing things for people. I like watching new items take shape and when they're finished, being able to look at them and say "I made that." And I really want to be able to continue to do that.

So, lets hope and pray, and send good thoughts my way!!